Downtime

I’m shocked to see that it has been an entire month since I’ve posted anything to Spectatrix. I know that a month in blog time is about a year in real time, but I’ve had a good excuse! Preparing for and then executing a move to a different country tends to eat up a lot of time, and for me this has been an epic move, a Move of Unusual Size (MOUS). Oh sure, I’ve moved between countries before, having moved to the States, back to Canada, and then to the States again, but this was the first move in a long time that I’ve made after being settled in one place for so long. It was a complicated move.

And I think the difficulty of the transition, both mentally and physically, has highlighted once again how strange it may seem for an introvert to be undertaking such a thing as a blog. Unlike many other bloggers, my first response when under stress and duress is not to pour my heart out to (virtual) strangers, but to retreat, to withdraw in order to sort out just what is really bothering me. Maybe this is a limitation for a blogger, but it’s how I am. If I really let people in on my thought processes during a time of confusion and re-orientation, all they’d get would be this type of dialogue:

SELF: How’s it going?

SELF 2: Not sure. Give me a day (or a month) and I’ll get back to you.

I often feel like it’s only after I’ve been through an ordeal that I can understand the experience. Not some people; they’ve got the experience as it’s happening right on the tip of their pen (or at their fingertips) and can write about it right away. I sometimes envy that ability, but there’s also something to be said for the benefit of hindsight. So, while I can’t always offer my readers the vicarious thrill of reading about various painful (and sometimes exciting) experiences as they’re happening to me, instead I can offer the semi-digested experience, written with a clearer mind, and maybe with a bit more insight than would have been possible before.

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4 Responses to “Downtime”

  1. RichM said:

    Many’s the time when the concept of mu were more acceptable (or the Western equivalent, the non-committal grunt). It’s especially sorely needed when the “How’s it going?” question comes from a well-intentioned extrovert who believes that the introvert is in need of being drawn out.

  2. spectatrix said:

    RichM:

    Mu works for me. I’ll try to remember that the next time I’m asked a question I can’t easily answer. Thanks.

  3. Laurie said:

    I’ll take the partly (or fully) digested experience, thanks. The semi-coherent ramblings of “as it’s happening, in Real Time!!!!” tend to be frustrating to me. Kind of like those friends (or family members!) who can’t stand silence between two people and have to fill it with something. sigh And insight is good. 🙂

    I hope the move went well and you are recovering. I can’t imagine moving intercontinentally.

    RichM: awesome concept! Thank you for sharing it!

  4. spectatrix said:

    Laurie:

    The move did go very smoothly—thanks. We are beginning to recover and even thrive in our new environment. It almost makes the pain of the last few months disappear…almost. 🙂