I’m shocked to see that it has been an entire month since I’ve posted anything to Spectatrix. I know that a month in blog time is about a year in real time, but I’ve had a good excuse! Preparing for and then executing a move to a different country tends to eat up a lot of time, and for me this has been an epic move, a Move of Unusual Size (MOUS). Oh sure, I’ve moved between countries before, having moved to the States, back to Canada, and then to the States again, but this was the first move in a long time that I’ve made after being settled in one place for so long. It was a complicated move.
And I think the difficulty of the transition, both mentally and physically, has highlighted once again how strange it may seem for an introvert to be undertaking such a thing as a blog. Unlike many other bloggers, my first response when under stress and duress is not to pour my heart out to (virtual) strangers, but to retreat, to withdraw in order to sort out just what is really bothering me. Maybe this is a limitation for a blogger, but it’s how I am. If I really let people in on my thought processes during a time of confusion and re-orientation, all they’d get would be this type of dialogue:
SELF: How’s it going?
SELF 2: Not sure. Give me a day (or a month) and I’ll get back to you.
I often feel like it’s only after I’ve been through an ordeal that I can understand the experience. Not some people; they’ve got the experience as it’s happening right on the tip of their pen (or at their fingertips) and can write about it right away. I sometimes envy that ability, but there’s also something to be said for the benefit of hindsight. So, while I can’t always offer my readers the vicarious thrill of reading about various painful (and sometimes exciting) experiences as they’re happening to me, instead I can offer the semi-digested experience, written with a clearer mind, and maybe with a bit more insight than would have been possible before.