Today I ran across an interesting blog on the Psychology Today Web site called Self-Promotion for Introverts. I’m eager to explore this blog in-depth, since to me, “self-promotion” and “introvert” are usually mutually exclusive terms. For the moment, I thought I would point you in the direction of one of blogger Nancy Ancowitz’s recent posts that deals with confronting the myths about what it means to be an introvert. I got a chuckle out of it and thought Spectatrix readers would enjoy it too.

I imagine that kind of fickleness is what proved so disturbing to Britain’s Got Talent contestant, and now global superstar, Susan Boyle. To have everyone build you up and then criticize you for the smallest misstep (as happened after her second performance on the show) would rattle the most jaded of performers, let alone an introverted person with little experience of fame. I thought it was telling that between her second and third appearances, those charged with her care thought it best to isolate her, from the media and from the public, I presume.

Isolation as an escape from an intrusive public seems to be the issue behind another story that came out today. Vanity Fair is planning to publish an article in its July issue about Johnny Depp’s private island in the Bahamas, and in a quote from the piece, Depp shares that life on the island is his “…way of trying to return to normalcy… Escapism is survival to me.” Never mind the fact that owning one’s own island is not “normal” for most people, I find his statement extremely depressing. Sure, it would be nice to have his wealth and opportunities, but if your only means of escape is to live Robinson Crusoe style, that means you look at the rest of the world as a prison. As tempting as it is, I would choose the ability to move (relatively) freely in the world over a private island any day.

I’m really enjoying working my way through Newsweek’s seven-part behind-the-scenes account of the recent US election, Secrets of the 2008 Campaign. I’m learning fun facts, such as the Secret Service’s code names for Barack Obama’s daughters (“Radiance” and “Rosebud”), and not-so-fun facts, like the details about infighting among Hilary Clinton’s staffers. I was especially interested to learn more about the temperament of our President-Elect, and to realize, based on some descriptions of him, that he just might be an introvert.

I must confess that I usually imagine politicians to be uniformly extroverted, as constant interaction with the public would be sure to drain the energy of most introverts. But, I also believe that introverts can learn to be more extroverted in certain situations, and there are some (perhaps tending to the Feeling end of the Myers-Briggs Feeling-Thinking continuum), who really thrive on meaningful interaction with friendly and like-minded individuals. I obviously can’t speak for Mr. Obama, but here are a few pieces of evidence that might confirm his tendency to introversion.

In the first chapter of the series, “How He Did It,” there is a description of some of Obama’s self-doubts early in the campaign, particularly regarding his performance in preliminary debates, and how he dealt with them:

Obama was a relentless self-improver: “I’m my own worst critic,” he told NEWSWEEK, but he was also a loner who needed to step back away from the others, to look more closely at himself. He wasn’t chilly, exactly, but for a politician he was astonishingly inner-directed, and that could make him seem remote.

There are so many introvert “code” words in these two sentences; “loner,” “inner-directed,” and “remote” are very common ways that introverts are characterized (although not always by introverts themselves). Further along in the article there is a telling description of how members of the press first saw the candidate, noting they found him “chilly and guarded.” Sounds like a misunderstood introvert to me!

If you add these observations to Obama’s reputation as a voracious reader and accomplished writer (often hallmarks of an introverted nature), the picture gets a little clearer. If my conjectures are true, and Obama really is an introvert, my admiration for his commitment to a tough job is even greater, and I would be delighted to know that someone “like me” will be occupying the Oval Office come January.

But what struck me most about Robinson’s exchange with interviewer Sarah Fay was her account of the importance solitude holds in her life and writing:

…I’m kind of a solitary. This would not satisfy everyone’s hopes, but for me it’s a lovely thing. I recognize the satisfactions of a more socially enmeshed existence than I cultivate, but I go days without hearing another human voice and never notice it. I never fear it. The only thing I fear is the intensity of my attachment to it. It’s a predisposition in my family. My brother is a solitary. My mother is a solitary. I grew up with the confidence that the greatest privilege was to be alone and have all the time you wanted. That was the cream of existence. I owe everything that I have done to the fact that I am very much at ease being alone. It’s a good predisposition in a writer…

Although I’m an unrepentant introvert, I have to admit that the level of solitude Robinson describes would not suit me. At certain points in my life I have spent long stretches of time “without hearing another human voice,” but it’s never felt entirely comfortable. Perhaps it’s because I grew up in a large family that rarely afforded me that type of isolation, but also never left me alone with my fears and anxieties, that I would find extreme solitude difficult rather than enriching, as Robinson seems to do. In fact, what I most prefer is to be left to my own devices, but to be within earshot of someone else doing their own thing (luckily, my husband has the same kind of preference). Silence is wonderful, but the thought of being alone for days on end fills me with dread.

That’s why I’m so fascinated by how Robinson seems to revel in that solitary state. She proclaims the benefits of solitude in a way I’ve rarely heard before, and I can see why it is so important to her even though I can’t fully understand it. But even if I can’t imagine myself benefiting from that type of profound solitude, I think it’s at least necessary for me (and probably most other writers and creative thinkers as well) to experience it in smaller doses. Like cultivating an ability to sleep for brief periods of time and then return to work refreshed (a talent I would also like to have), Robinson has inspired me to do more to cultivate my capacity for deep solitude — to be able to lose myself in it, to walk around within it, like some kind of magic circle, and then be able to return to my relatively more social life. It’s strange for me to think about needing to practice solitude, because it usually comes so easily for me, but I think the kind of solitude Robinson is describing isn’t a default state, but a purposeful one. Not a retreat, but a mode of being that enables a writer to do her best work. That sounds like a great place to be.

I don’t often use instant messaging programs like AIM or iChat, and it turns out there may be a reason for that besides a lack of friends. In his recent article, Instant Messaging for Introverts, Mac writer (and husband to this blogger) Joe Kissell argues that introverts may be put off by these types of programs because of the unique demands they make on the user’s attention. Joe explains that for many introverts it is difficult to concentrate on numerous tasks at once, which makes it challenging to participate in online chats while attending to other work projects. In addition, because introverts often carefully weigh out what they will say (or write in the case of instant messaging), the energy it takes to respond to someone in writing may equal or exceed that required for personal interactions, meaning that instant messaging can quickly become a draining experience for the introvert involved. However, because it is sometimes necessary or helpful to use these types of programs, Joe goes beyond diagnosing the problem and gives some practical suggestions about how to make them work for introverts.

I’d highly recommend this article because I think Joe has identified one of those aspects of modern social interaction that often goes unexamined by extroverts and introverts alike. Like a shoe that doesn’t quite fit right, introverts might not always understand why they are feeling uncomfortable, and this type of analysis helps to clarify the situation. You can find the article, and many other useful Mac-related articles, on the TidBITS Web site.

Don’t get me wrong, my stylist is extremely nice and friendly, but if it were up to me, I’d spend the whole appointment sitting quietly and just watching the action going on around me. If I do that, however, I feel both boring and unfriendly. I don’t know for sure, but it could be that my stylist wouldn’t mind a break from the chitchat. I know if I were in his position, I’d welcome a bit of quiet time once in a while. But then again, I wouldn’t say making conversation is my forte.

Of course I’ve had jobs where conversation was required (way too many receptionist gigs), but that’s different from making conversation throughout the day. Although it’s probably not at the very top of my list, I’d have to say that a job that required making conversation would be among the professions I would not like to attempt (as James Lipton asks of his guests on Inside the Actor’s Studio).

At the end of my term as chair, the other members of the committee gave me a lovely present: personal notes describing what they most appreciated about my leadership and my contributions in general. As an introvert, I don’t always do well with public acknowledgment because I usually feel a little too exposed (see: birthday parties), but this time I was really touched by their efforts. Later on at home, when I sat down to read their notes, I was quite shocked by what I read. Along with other attributes that I did recognize in myself (if I do say so myself), almost to a person they praised me for my calmness. What? Calmness was the last word I would use to describe my state of being. Didn’t they see that I was a hopeless neurotic, worrying over every last detail, and struggling to keep my cool? Apparently not. For some baffling reason, despite my inner turmoil and stress, I managed to project an aura of unflappability. What was going on?

I found a brilliant explanation of this phenomenon in an article by Henry Thompson, titled The Illusion of Calmness in Introverts. Dr. Thompson describes it this way:

As a result of their energy being focused inwardly, introverts tend to be more reserved and less expressive—in general—than people with a preference for extraversion. This makes getting to know the “real” person more difficult. They have just as much cognitive action going on, it’s just on the inside. Introverts are similar to a duck sitting on a pond. To the observer, it looks as if the duck is just sitting there, and the wind—or something—is moving it across the water. A look just beneath the surface reveals that the duck’s little feet are paddling like crazy—you just don’t see it from above. Introverts, like ducks, give the appearance of calmness.

I find this all very fascinating, and yet irksome; it can be painful to realize you are not conscious of how others perceive you. I’m sure this has led to problems I’ve had in the past, especially in work situations, where I’ve assumed that my level of frustration and stress was obvious to others. Thompson gives an example of a manager who “…continued to increase the workload of an employee (an introvert) until ‘he exploded.’ She had no idea of the level of stress he was under. His behavior had seemed almost the same in the stressed and non-stressed state.” Yikes! This seems like a major problem that introverts (and their extroverted co-workers) need to find an answer to.

Another factor compounding the problem is that introverts are often loath to ask for help when they need it, and dislike exposing their innermost thoughts and feelings to anyone other than their closest confidantes. I think solving this communication problem is definitely a two-way street; it would be extremely helpful if there was greater understanding on the part of the extroverts involved, but as introverts, we also need to find clearer ways of expressing our frustrations.

Last month The Washington Post published an article by Mary Carpenter, titled An Introvert Stands Up for The Right to Stand Alone. In the article, Carpenter describes how she came to realize she was an introvert, and the effect this had on her family, work, and social interactions. I have to say it’s nice to see the WaPo pay attention to us introverts.