Today was a big day in the Spectatrix household. My husband and I found out that the baby I’m having in June will be a boy! This new knowledge brought up a whole host of emotions as well as questions — now that we know a bit more about this growing person, what other kinds [...]

As I’ve written about in previous posts, I think the term “loner” is too often used to describe behavior that falls outside the normal range of introvert experience. Instead of a negative term that denotes a dangerously isolated individual, I think “loner” should be reclaimed for those who simply enjoy spending time alone.

Because of this, [...]

In previous posts I’ve mentioned the salon.com advice column, Since You Asked, written by the inimitable Cary Tennis, which often seems to feature introvert-related issues. Today’s question, posed by a forlorn introvert, had to do with that age-old problem (at least for introverts): how do you stay true to yourself yet still make friends? The [...]

More than a year ago, I wrote a post about how I had finally been persuaded to join the social networking site Facebook. At the time, I was still new to Facebook and finding it to be a handy way to reconnect with friends and family around the world. Today, I still appreciate that aspect [...]

I’m really enjoying working my way through Newsweek’s seven-part behind-the-scenes account of the recent US election, Secrets of the 2008 Campaign. I’m learning fun facts, such as the Secret Service’s code names for Barack Obama’s daughters (“Radiance” and “Rosebud”), and not-so-fun facts, like the details about infighting among Hilary Clinton’s staffers. I was especially interested [...]

My first experience with public laundromats occurred in my early twenties, when I first moved to San Francisco. I had a strangely romantic idea about them at the time, that there was something grittily poetic about airing one’s dirty laundry in the company of strangers. It didn’t take long before I grew tired of the [...]

Since we raised our cat Zora from a kitten, we like to joke that she’s taken on some of our introverted personality quirks, like needing her quiet time, and hiding when guests come over. Of course, those behaviors may be de rigueur for cats (which is why we’re both cat people), but we still find [...]

A few months ago, Joe and I went out for dinner with a new friend, and throughout the meal he and Joe kept up a lively conversation, while I mostly listened. This was partly due to the fact that I wasn’t feeling well, but also because I felt I didn’t really have much to say [...]

I have a love-hate relationship with advice columns. I love them because they prove that other people out there have the same problems I do (albeit usually in a more extreme version), but I hate them because they make me feel like I’m rubbernecking at a crash scene, somehow getting comfort or enjoyment out of [...]

I’ve always resisted joining social networking sites like MySpace or Friendster because for the most part I enjoy my anonymity (present blog excepted). However, it seems like the universe has been conspiring lately to get me to join Facebook. Within the last few weeks, four friends, from completely different social circles, have extolled the benefits [...]

I think one of the most difficult aspects of being an introvert is dealing with those people in our lives who want us to become extroverts. I have experienced this phenomenon many times with individuals who I didn’t feel the need to impress or explain myself to, but the more challenging encounters have been those [...]

Some time ago I read a great article by Salon’s advice columnist Cary Tennis called The two-introvert problem (you may need to click through an ad to get to it). In the article Cary responds to a letter from a woman who is frustrated because she wants to invite a fellow introvert on a date, [...]

One of the writers I greatly admire (despite his seeming low opinion of women), the 16th century French essayist Michel de Montaigne, had a lot to say about the subject of friendship. His famous essay Of friendship describes the unique relationship he had with Étienne de la Boétie, a fellow writer he met while both [...]

One of the things I adore about Joe is that he always asks my opinion on every decision to be made. That may sound like a small thing, but for someone who is used to going with the flow, and thus living with whatever group decision gets made, this is actually a huge thing. My [...]

A few years ago I agreed to serve as the chair of a committee despite my usual reservations about assuming leadership roles. For me, being a leader has always been a double-edged sword; I enjoy the challenge, but it takes a lot of energy for me to be available and engaged in a group process. [...]