Comments on: Facebook: The Honeymoon’s Over

By: Janna

Janna — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 13:58:29 +0000

I find Facebook extremely depressing. I guess I’m not you’re typical 26 year old girl. I accept adds from others thinking they want to reconnect and later find out they just want to be nosy, jealous, and mean about the things in my life they do not have. It becomes disastrous when you have added people you know (but want to delete) and they are mutual friends with like everyone you know..so then what do you do? Delete everyone? Yes, I can block, but it’s very obvious when someone blocks you. I’m fed up with this place. I have a list of 400ish people. I know them all. School, work, etc. I interact with about 40 of them (at the MOST) on a regular basis…and I could honestly live without all of them. I think I have kept mine since I now live across country and don’t know anyone where I am at..but I hope I can make myself delete it permanently one day. Then perhaps I can start a new one with literally just family and 5 friends maximum. People act so stupid on there. Delete you for no reason, reject your friend’s request even though you know them and were friends..and they have 1,000 people on their list! It’s so strange. It makes us regular people think there is something wrong with us. But the truth is, Facebook seems to bring out the stupid in most average/dumb/drones of human beings.

By: hello

hello — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 17:12:33 +0000

To quote someone I know, "Everyone I want to keep in touch with, I have kept in touch with. I really have no interest in re-connecting with old friends. There is a reason I lost touch with them in the first place." (They were mainly referring to high school friends).

That quote and your post rings true for me. I'm an introvert and I just find socializing in general exhausting. I don't really find FB enjoyable. I have an account but I never post and everything on it is fake. I find many online socializing so fake and such a waste of time. Life is too short to spend it this type of stuff.

The way I see it, I'm a good friend to a chosen few and not a so-so, superficial friend to many and I like it this way.

I do agree with you that we introverts over think everything we post.

Good post.

By: Jenn

Jenn — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 01:27:49 +0000

Hi Morgen. I am an extrovert, yet I, too, find Facebook “tiring”. I so enjoyed your post–many of your reasons (and more) are why I don’t like using Facebook. Your post (and the reflection it inspired) has led to my no longer feeling guilty about not using/not liking Facebook. Thank you! Jenn

By: Annie Introvert

Annie Introvert — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 02:10:17 +0000

I stumbled on this post tonight when I googled "facebook depresses me."

I have resisted the pull the facebook for months and months because I am a private person and, honestly, I was afraid that facebook would be a popularity contest that I just couldn't win.

Over the years, I've struggled to be okay with my introversion. I don't socialize a lot anymore. I like to lead a quiet, yet full life. I have people I am close to, but I don't go out drinking all the time and I have no interest in posting pictures of me all dolled up, posing with people draping off me. I most likely sound resentful here... I suppose I am a bit. I sometimes wish I was a social butterfly, but, alas, I am not. Facebook reminds me that I am not completely okay with my "inwardness."

Long story short, I joined facebook a few days ago and am already feeling sucky about myself. Ugh. Your post really helped to put things into perspective for me. It's okay to not be social and the life of the party. After reading your post, I deactivated my account and I feel such relief.

Thank you for writing such an honest post.

By: Gluon the Ferengi

Gluon the Ferengi — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:54:53 +0000

I still log into facebook with an old e-mail address so I don't get notifications or spam from them. My relationship with the site is entirely on my terms.

I give minimal personal information on my profile. And update very seldomly.

My facebook account is a listening post in the extrovert realm. In the introvert fashion, I mostly observe and only interfere when interference is needed.

If I want to message someone, I log in for that express purpose and then log out. I'll check my wall every few months or so. I don't bother replying to 'Happy birthdays' from people.

When someone messages me by writing on my wall, I reply by private e-mail. One person commented that I was a terrible facebook friend because it appeared as though I had never replied to anyone. Underneath the surface, however, all these matters had indeed been resolved.

By: spectatrix

spectatrix — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 19:51:19 +0000

Thanks for all your comments. It seems like the consensus is that Facebook can be a positive experience for introverts, provided we use it in a way that works for us. In my own case, I’ve stopped writing Status Updates (I save those now for Twitter , and have taken a more hands-off approach in general. I’m a much happier Facebook user/lurker now.

By: frustrated Introvert

frustrated Introvert — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 22:57:37 +0000

Hi spectatrix, I read your initial post about Face Book a couple of months ago. I originally joined Face Book in early 2008 but I never went on it. A couple of months ago, I visited the site for the first time and actually created a profile and connected with a couple of friends that I have not seen in years. I was excited about the site for a couple of weeks and then after that, I slowly went back to not visiting the site all that much. Now, I check twice a week, if that much. But I am definitely not a regular user. An introverted friend of mine, recently started to visit the site as well. She had an account for a while but never went on until recently. That’s one of the only reasons why I still use the site, so I can keep in touch with her and we can see updated pictures of each other, since we have not seen each other for several years.

By: Mads

Mads — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 16:12:07 +0000

I don't suppose I would find Facebook very useful as an adult introvert, no. But as a teenaged introvert I actually find it rather invaluable. It allows me to find out about what my friends are up to without having to call them and ask about it.

But, I've always thought that the way younger people use Facebook and the way adults use it aren't really compatible.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 23:51:04 +0000

I have to agree 100% with you about the pictures and status updates. I feel the exact same way, but didn’t realize it until you put it into words for me. Thank you!

By: Rod

Rod — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 20:46:07 +0000

Got to agree with eremite, I've ended up doing the same, with FB and twitter.

But it is nice to finally be able to put my finger on why FB caused me so much grief.

By: spectatrix

spectatrix — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 11:14:17 +0000

Eremite,

Good for you. I'm glad you've found a way to use FB that works for you as an introvert. I think I'll be following your lead in my future use of the site.

By: eremite

eremite — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 04:52:36 +0000

Assured by your original FB post that it was possible for Facebook to be worthwhile for introverts I finally joined a few months ago. And I haven’t regretted it, mostly because my use of it has been pretty passive. I log on once every day or two and see what all my “friends” have been doing. But I rarely take the time and effort to make comments or update my status or post photos or whatever else people do. I save that for Goodreads where I actually have something to say (after finishing a book).