Comments on: The Happy Loner http://spectatrix.com/2007/04/18/the-happy-loner/ the passionate introvert Wed, 11 Jan 2012 16:16:42 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Loner Lore | Spectatrix http://spectatrix.com/2007/04/18/the-happy-loner/comment-page-1/#comment-7819 Loner Lore | Spectatrix Mon, 01 Feb 2010 23:27:11 +0000 http://spectatrix.com/2007/04/18/the-happy-loner/#comment-7819 <p>[...] I’ve written about in previous posts, I think the term “loner” is too often used to describe behavior that falls [...]</p> [...] I’ve written about in previous posts, I think the term “loner” is too often used to describe behavior that falls [...]

]]> By: Loner Solidarity | Spectatrix http://spectatrix.com/2007/04/18/the-happy-loner/comment-page-1/#comment-2105 Loner Solidarity | Spectatrix Sun, 15 Mar 2009 13:00:24 +0000 http://spectatrix.com/2007/04/18/the-happy-loner/#comment-2105 <p>[...] undercut by the title given to the piece: “Loners, losers — and killers.” As I wrote a few years ago after the Virginia Tech murders, using the term “loner” as a key descriptor of the [...]</p> [...] undercut by the title given to the piece: “Loners, losers — and killers.” As I wrote a few years ago after the Virginia Tech murders, using the term “loner” as a key descriptor of the [...]

]]> By: Frustrated Introvert http://spectatrix.com/2007/04/18/the-happy-loner/comment-page-1/#comment-1551 Frustrated Introvert Mon, 17 Nov 2008 17:15:14 +0000 http://spectatrix.com/2007/04/18/the-happy-loner/#comment-1551 <p>I recently read the Loner's Manifesto and I was very happy with what I read. It is so true that there is a difference between aloneness and loneliness. For the most part, I like to be alone. I can find things to do to entertain myself. When I had the time, I used to go to movies by myself. When the lights dim and the movie comes on to the screen, it does not really matter if you are alone or if you are with a friend. When I was in college, I used to go to a local coffee shop by myself. I would bring my laptop or a book and I would sit and have a coffee and enjoy my time alone. In the workplace, I have never minded eating my lunch alone. More often than not, I liked it when I was the only one eating lunch or taking a break in the employee break room. if anyone else came in to the break room, they would immediately want to make small talk and for the most part, I would not be in the mood for that person's company. there's a website that I sometimes visit which helps people with problems they might be having in the workplace. Well, one person wrote in to the site because she did not know how to deal with a coworker whom she described as being a loner. The person who wrote in mentioned that both her and her coworkers felt that it was odd that this "loner" coworker seemed to have no interest in socializing with the them. She had even spoken to the manager about this coworker. Well, the manager spoke to the "loner" coworker. The manager then told the complaining coworker that the "loner" coworker really did not care to socialize with any of them. He was not interested in getting to know his coworkers. He was simply content in doing his job. And guess what, the manager was fine with the loner coworker. As long as this coworker was doing his job and doing a good job, it should not matter that he did not want to socialize with other coworkers. So basically, the "loner" coworker did not have a problem, it was his coworkers who had to get over their issues with his preferred isolation from them.</p> I recently read the Loner’s Manifesto and I was very happy with what I read. It is so true that there is a difference between aloneness and loneliness. For the most part, I like to be alone. I can find things to do to entertain myself. When I had the time, I used to go to movies by myself. When the lights dim and the movie comes on to the screen, it does not really matter if you are alone or if you are with a friend. When I was in college, I used to go to a local coffee shop by myself. I would bring my laptop or a book and I would sit and have a coffee and enjoy my time alone. In the workplace, I have never minded eating my lunch alone. More often than not, I liked it when I was the only one eating lunch or taking a break in the employee break room. if anyone else came in to the break room, they would immediately want to make small talk and for the most part, I would not be in the mood for that person’s company. there’s a website that I sometimes visit which helps people with problems they might be having in the workplace. Well, one person wrote in to the site because she did not know how to deal with a coworker whom she described as being a loner. The person who wrote in mentioned that both her and her coworkers felt that it was odd that this “loner” coworker seemed to have no interest in socializing with the them. She had even spoken to the manager about this coworker. Well, the manager spoke to the “loner” coworker. The manager then told the complaining coworker that the “loner” coworker really did not care to socialize with any of them. He was not interested in getting to know his coworkers. He was simply content in doing his job. And guess what, the manager was fine with the loner coworker. As long as this coworker was doing his job and doing a good job, it should not matter that he did not want to socialize with other coworkers. So basically, the “loner” coworker did not have a problem, it was his coworkers who had to get over their issues with his preferred isolation from them.

]]> By: Sad and Shy, or Melancholy and Introverted? | Spectatrix http://spectatrix.com/2007/04/18/the-happy-loner/comment-page-1/#comment-641 Sad and Shy, or Melancholy and Introverted? | Spectatrix Thu, 24 Jan 2008 01:23:32 +0000 http://spectatrix.com/2007/04/18/the-happy-loner/#comment-641 <p>[...] a person’s mental well-being simply because of their external behaviour. As I mentioned in an earlier post, there is a big gap between preferring solitude and feeling unable to overcome it, and that [...]</p> [...] a person’s mental well-being simply because of their external behaviour. As I mentioned in an earlier post, there is a big gap between preferring solitude and feeling unable to overcome it, and that [...]

]]> By: spectatrix http://spectatrix.com/2007/04/18/the-happy-loner/comment-page-1/#comment-54 spectatrix Thu, 19 Apr 2007 08:19:20 +0000 http://spectatrix.com/2007/04/18/the-happy-loner/#comment-54 <p>Brian:</p> <p>I can definitely relate to the lonely in a crowd feeling, and to its opposite; I can be very good company to myself :)</p> <p>Tinker:</p> <p>Welcome to the club! I'm glad you're enjoying the blog.</p> <p>Cloud:</p> <p>It's sad but probably true.</p> Brian:

I can definitely relate to the lonely in a crowd feeling, and to its opposite; I can be very good company to myself :)

Tinker:

Welcome to the club! I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog.

Cloud:

It’s sad but probably true.

]]> By: Cloud http://spectatrix.com/2007/04/18/the-happy-loner/comment-page-1/#comment-51 Cloud Wed, 18 Apr 2007 20:21:56 +0000 http://spectatrix.com/2007/04/18/the-happy-loner/#comment-51 <p>Well said. I'm afraid after the VT incident, people who like to be alone, such as myself, will be regarded with even more wariness.</p> Well said. I’m afraid after the VT incident, people who like to be alone, such as myself, will be regarded with even more wariness.

]]> By: Tinker http://spectatrix.com/2007/04/18/the-happy-loner/comment-page-1/#comment-50 Tinker Wed, 18 Apr 2007 16:26:10 +0000 http://spectatrix.com/2007/04/18/the-happy-loner/#comment-50 <p>As a newcomer to this introvert thing([4] stroke[s]) I was finding it difficult to adjust. Love your blog. I have enjoyed it a lot in the last couple of days. Been tough enough, not being able to do the thing I love best(professional programmer/software tester), but to be unable to relate to others, and to have little opportunity to do so, was a bit overwhelming, even isolating. I was a rarity among computer types, as I generally liked people and was rather gregarious. The prototypical computer nerd is a "moody loner", and generally only attacts attention for his nerdiness or his lack of social skills, and both forms of attention are basically negative. I was able to pass for normal in social situations, however, and my current situation is peculiar to say the least. Anyway thanks for your take on intoversion/intoverts, from a necomer to the cause.</p> As a newcomer to this introvert thing([4] stroke[s]) I was finding it difficult to adjust. Love your blog. I have enjoyed it a lot in the last couple of days. Been tough enough, not being able to do the thing I love best(professional programmer/software tester), but to be unable to relate to others, and to have little opportunity to do so, was a bit overwhelming, even isolating. I was a rarity among computer types, as I generally liked people and was rather gregarious. The prototypical computer nerd is a “moody loner”, and generally only attacts attention for his nerdiness or his lack of social skills, and both forms of attention are basically negative. I was able to pass for normal in social situations, however, and my current situation is peculiar to say the least. Anyway thanks for your take on intoversion/intoverts, from a necomer to the cause.

]]> By: Brian Clasby http://spectatrix.com/2007/04/18/the-happy-loner/comment-page-1/#comment-49 Brian Clasby Wed, 18 Apr 2007 15:58:01 +0000 http://spectatrix.com/2007/04/18/the-happy-loner/#comment-49 <p>I’d just like to say, as an introvert myself by the way, that there is a definite difference between aloneness and loneliness. The adage that the loneliest place is a crowd is so very true – I’d rather be alone by myself than lonely in the mass. Yeah, I’m a loner but a reasonably well adjusted. I’m OK with it.</p> <p>-Brian</p> I’d just like to say, as an introvert myself by the way, that there is a definite difference between aloneness and loneliness. The adage that the loneliest place is a crowd is so very true – I’d rather be alone by myself than lonely in the mass. Yeah, I’m a loner but a reasonably well adjusted. I’m OK with it.

-Brian

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